In a move to reduce labor costs within the hospital, a new computer call-forwarding system has been implemented. The caller will hear the
following...
Hello and welcome to the mental health unit!
If you are obsessive or compulsive press 1 repeatedly.
If you are dependent ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you are a multiple personality press 2, 4, 5 & 6.
If you are paranoid, remember we know who you are, where
you are and what you want.
If you are delusional press 7 to be transferred to the
mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little
voice will tell you what to do.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter what number
you press, no one will answer.
If you are dyslexic press 969696969.
If you have a nervous disorder, fidget with the pound key until we answer.
If you have short term memory loss press 8... if you have
short term memory loss press 8... if you have short term
memory loss press 8...
If you have low self esteem, hang up now. We are very busy
and don't really care all that much.
Subject: Phone Answering Computer 
Sat Jun 30, 2007 12:13 pm
